Saturday, July 23, 2011

Blubbering Idiot

I never though a simple question like what are your hobbies could turn me stupid. I went out with a couple ladies the other night and one of them turned to me and asked, "So what are your hobbies?" I looked at her with a blank stare and she returned with,"What do you like to do?" I realized then how stupid I must look so I need to answer something. Truth is I have no idea. I get so excited when someone says, "Do you want to go...." that I always say yes. It could be hiking, shopping, or riding to the dump to help them carry garbage, I love it. I get out of the house in a car.  Does walking because I have to consist of a hobby? I admit I love to walk and walked before I lost my license but the thrill is gone when you do it because of need not want. I have decided to look deep this week into things that I really enjoy doing.

Hours later:
A hobby that I would add is moving furniture. I will move all the furniture in all my house at least once a month. I have thought about several different reasons, one of which is control. Moving a bed from here to there is something I can control. I cannot control whether I have a seizure or not and apparently neither can Doctors.  I cannot control whether you say you are coming to get me and never show up or show up hours later. I cannot control life but I can control location of my chair and table, pictures and decor. I need to control something and I get a sense of joy with that. I feel strong and powerful and everyone needs to feel strong in something they do.
It could also could be that my father was in the military and for several years we moved every couple years. I had constant change in my life. Nothing ever seemed to be the same. New friends, new home, new placement of furniture. I got used to it and moving a table from here to there comforts me. Again we all need comfort. Comfort food, comfortable clothes. We search for it and find it where ever we can.

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