Thursday, April 5, 2012


I wonder if when the wind blows in the trees, the birds are like "oh shit another earthquake"

Friday, March 16, 2012


As much as I love my dogs it will not trump my hate for dealing with the court system. Tonight the cops came to the door and we are being charged with dogs at large. My dogs chased a horse down and the horse got injured. Now we have to pay court citation fees, their vet bills and a fence. To the dogs... You can only push me so far. Your on your way out the door.

Friday, February 24, 2012


You would think I would be able to focus on my hospital stay, eat the way they want me to eat, seize the way they want me to seize, cut back on the coffee, ect. I would love to focus on my baby sister having a new baby girl in seven weeks or maybe my older sister who is going through a tough time. I could focus on my two boys at home sick with ear infections, or my grandparents that are not feeling well.

Instead all the attention has been placed upon a man that does not deserve it. A man that has been cruel and selfish to us all. Thank you for taking all the attention off what is serious and allowing yourself to be a joke we can all laugh about for years to come.


After spending a week in the hospital without medicine the doctor decided to triple my Depakote before I get sent home. Boy I slept good last night. I would average an hour after my medicine was given, I was out. My button pusher (grandma) said I never tossed or turned. My body laid still And I sure felt good the next morning. It is nice sometimes to over sleep and not have dogs or little boys waking you up at night. Thank you overdose on Depakote, I feel good today.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Skip's letter

Well all those words and only one sentence of truth.... You were kicked out of my home and I would do it all over again. Although if you remember correctly you said and I quote, "I am leaving, i'm not going to put up with this for a week and a half" and I said good, get the fuck out. Alienate me just like you have done two of your other daughters. This all came after you told lies about the morning and i just could not listen to your lies for one more second. I for one have listened your lies long enough, or misunderstandings, or omitting the whole truth.

I am stunned how you took a very nice blog about mom and twisted it to be something awful. I am sorry. I thought I was dealing with adults that could read and comprehend, I am continuously shown that I am not.

I have for sure been kicked out of your house several times so please do not say you have never done that. About the yelling, no one yells and berates more than you. All of my life I have made excuses for you and stuck up for you. You yell because your feelings are hurt and you never mean any harm. What a joke. How stupid I have been.

you did send out an apology to all of us girls to say sorry for all you have ever done, very generalized and not taking any responsibility for anyone single action. No responsibility for saying all your "friendship" with sherry was my fault for mom helping take care of the kids when I was in the hospital. You cannot be left alone. By the way I never kissed Pete. When I say we were friends we actually were. No lies on my part.

You are the common denominator in all of this.... The drama and hate. You!!!!!

You should thank mom everyday for staying with you. You should be laying out the red carpet and groveling beside her. You should be buying her flowers everyday and not for the past year but for the past thirty.

You have gotten lucky and as with anyone luck runs out.
I do not hate you but I do not hate anyone. I do dislike you.


Organization is the key functionality

Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Organization is the key functionality


So what is this number seven in the past three years? You would think I could hook up the electrodes myself by now. All the doctors say the same thing, "we can see you are having epileptic seizures, but we cannot tell where they come from or what type you have." I just smile because I have heard it all before. I know I am an odd duck. I know that there is no rhyme or reason. I know that no neurologist or epilologist is able to diagnose me. All is constantly up in the air. Some doctors think because they got education from Yale they are better qualified than those that went to school in Georgia and south Carolina. They cannot seem to find a "cure" either. I am just the elite, the odd duck. Are my seizures coming from my occipital lobe? The PET scan says no but most of my symptoms say yes. One doctor says it is primary generalized seizure disorder although the symptoms do not match. Another says maybe I have a couple types. Who knows. This is what I know, I have epilepsy. I have seizures. The type really does not matter, right?


All of my life my mother has been a source of wisdom, light and most importantly strength. She has four girls, now woman, raised just like her, in her image: intelligent, witty, strong, and commanding. We know when to stand our ground and when to appear less than.
Change has effected my family in the deepest way. The one constant has now erupted. The steadiness that we depended on has been subject of humiliation: affairs, eating disorders, mental abuse, overloading of medications, ridicule from someone she thought was a partner.
Now what? She raised us and when she needs us the most, we are here. Alone, my sisters and I are powerful, together we are forces to be recon with. We l hold you up. We will take care of you until you become the source of light we have always known.


This years lent will be super easy, I have been in this hospital since Tuesday morning and I have obviously deprived myself of everything. No more laundry, dishes, bed making, boy chasing, butt wiping days for me. I am practicing lent.

Thursday, January 12, 2012