Friday, October 14, 2011

Get your Ass up

Last Thursday I did not feel well, a little down in the dumps, and everyday since gets worse and worse. Thursday I called a doctor to get a referral to see a counselor as soon as possible. I know myself well enough to know nip it in the bud as soon as possible so you do not get into the danger zone. It has been a week and I still have no counselor, or medicine, or help and I get worse by the day.

I tell myself to get your fat ass of the couch and do something. GO SOMEWHERE!! Anywhere!! I got into the truck today and drove around the cul-de-sac circle only to pull back into the driveway. I know what I need to do but I just cannot seem to do it (it being anything).

I just want to eat, Eat until I am sick. Eat until I hate myself.

I have now contacted all of my doctors, Neurologist, Ob-GYN, and family doctor to call in an anti-depressant for me but no one is able. Family doctor is out til next Wendsday and Neurologist only prescribes anti-epileptic drugs, OB only prescribes vaginal stuff. I ask myself, it has been 8 days now and I am still waiting for some thing to help. What if? What if I get to the danger zone and still have no help? Will they help the next person that calls and says please call this prescription, I really need it? Or will they allow another person to slip through the cracks.

I hate feeling like this every couple of months for no reason. I guess I could gather many little stupid things but the truth is there is nothing REALLY wrong. Life, my life, welcome.

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