Never can just one thing happen, it all comes together, the good and the bad. I try to remind myself to keep my head up, be positive, stick out the bad can you can live in the good. Some days though it is harder than others.
Two days ago, I went to the grocery store (typical story so far, huh). I have a deal with my husband that the boys and I go to the grocery store by walking or on the bus and picks he us up. It was raining, so I asked a friend if we could bum a ride, she agreed thankfully. I guess I should add that this was not a want trip, this was a need trip. My freezer had 3 items in it, no milk, no eggs, no essentials. And back to the story, we spent almost 3 hours shopping and at 4:45pm we were done. My husband gets there at 5:00pm so it was, as usual, perfect timing except I missed several calls from my husband saying he had to work late. Now what? I have checked out already with 3 cartons of ice cream, meat, shrimp, ect. I sat on the bench outside for a moment with two boys and two full grocery carts filled to the rim. I thought of several possibilities, a taxi in rush hour traffic would not get to me for an hour, the bus surely will not allow me on with all these groceries plus the mile long walk from the bus stop to my front door would be killer. I had to swallow my pride and call my girlfriend back. She came, threw all my groceries and the children in the car and I cried in relief. Tell me, who else has to sit outside of Walmart with 2 full grocery carts and tears in their eyes.
And onto the next day, I think it is important to have someone who does not just support you but truly understands your illness and the day to day struggles. I started an Epilepsy Support Group to meet once a month. I thought it would be a great idea to share information with one another: Doctors, medicines, Struggles. I guess I was the only one that thought that because I was alone. I sat in the support group trying to remind myself not to give up and think positively. I did everything I could not to drop tears, again.
Day three, My boys have no choice but to walk miles and maybe sometimes they walk too much. Last night my five year old came to me and said his shins hurt. He asked me to wrap them an ace bandage and I did. When he woke up this morning he claimed he could not even walk or stand. I will admit he can be somewhat dramatic but I never know if if is drama or true pain. I called the doctor and she said to bring him in, just in case. I have a long list of people that can drive me if needed so I went ahead and made an appointment. Bad idea. I called one and she was busy, and another and she was in severe pain herself, and I called another with no answer and another that was busy. I finally called my mom and cried. I was at my limit. At that moment, my husband that works so hard text me and said he is on his way. I needed him and he came. I has loads of stress and worry come off into my husbands hands. Thank you, honey for making my day a little easier and for knowing I can always depend on you.
I cannot wait until day four it should be exciting.